Witty answers – read and enjoy

Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
***********

Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can’t you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can’t.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?
***********

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take
This train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.
***********

Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and
The game went into extra time.
***********

Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in Two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won’t.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It’s addressed to Mumbai.
***********

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a
Commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, “Order, order.”
The drunkard immediately responded, “Thank you, your honor, I’ll have
A scotch and soda.”
***********

Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
***********

An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
‘My trouble is,’ he said, ‘that I keep forgetting things.’
‘How long has this been going on?’ asked the psychiatrist.
‘How long has what been going on?’ said the man.
***********

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
***********

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