Why I Fired My Secretary
Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn’t feeling
Too hot that morning anyway.
I went to breakfast knowing my wife
Would be pleasant and say ?Happy Birthday,?
And would probably have a present for me.
She didn’t even say ?Good Morning,? Let alone any ?Happy Birthday.?
I thought, ?Well, that’s wives for you. Maybe the children will remember .?
The children came in to breakfast and didn’t say a word.
When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said,
?Good morning boss, Happy Birthday.?
So I felt a little better; someone had remembered.
I worked until noon. Then Janet knocked on my door and said,
?You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside and it’s your birthday,
let’s go to lunch, just you and me.? I said, ?By George,
that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go.?
We went to lunch. We didn’t go where we normally go;
We went out into the country to a little private place.
We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said,
?You know, it’s such a beautiful day.
We don’t need to go back to the office, do we??
I said, ?No, I guess not.? She said, ?Let’s go to my apartment.?
After arriving at her apartment she said, ?Boss, if you don’t mind,
I think I’ll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable.?
?Sure,? I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and,
In about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake,
Followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends.
All were singing ? Happy Birthday? And there on the couch I sat… Naked.