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Types Of Girlfriends

May 29th, 2011 Go to comments

Old Yeller – "You spineless good-for-nothing drag-arse no-talent son of a naughty woman! Can’t you see you’re making me miserable??" Shocked Lips sealed Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from Hell Advantages: Pays attention to you Disadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pans

Sickly – "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite." Grin Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, Grumpy Advantages: Predictable Disadvantages: Contagious

The Bosser – "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don’t give me that look." Wink Also known as: Whip cracker, The Sarge,Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, Yes Mom Advantages: Often right Disadvantages: Often right, but so what?

Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied – "I just can’t decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, and hair color?" Angry Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw C’mon Honey Advantages: Easily soothed Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed

Wild Woman out of Control – "I’ve got an idea. Lez get drunk an’ make love onna front lawn. I done it before. S’fun." Also known as: Fast Girl, Freewheeler, Goodtime Charleena, Passed Out Cheesy Cheesy hell yeahhh Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs

Huffy – "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at." Embarrassed my worst nitemare Lips sealed Also known as: No Fun, Humorless Prig, Cold fish, Chilly Proposition, Iceberg, Snarly Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you Disadvantages: You will have no friends

Woman from Mars – "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship." Undecided Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic Advantages: Entertaining, unfathomable Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud

Ms. Dreamgirl – "I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think we must make love like crazed weasels now!" Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous Advantages: Funny, intelligent, uninhibited Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you. Tongue Tongue

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