Boss: Where were you born?
Boss: which part?
Philemon: What ‘which part’? Whole body was born in Zimbabwe.
Philemon and his friend were fixing a bomb in a car.
Friend: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Philemon: Don’t worry, I have one more.
Philemon: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but it starts with ‘T’.
Philemon: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
Philemon joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what Philemon did till evening.
Philemon: Keyboard letters were not in Alphabetical order, so I made it alright.
Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue you’ve broken.
Philemon: Thank God! I thought it was a new one.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Philemon: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Philemon: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. …..
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Philemon: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup….
Philemon: "You know somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a note on my windscreen, it said, ‘ parking fine’ So that was nice!"