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Best Chuck Norris Jokes

February 20th, 2012 Go to comments

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can see John Cena.

Chuck noris doesnt go swimming, water just wants to be around him

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.

If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris’s daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death. He wins fair and square.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a condom because there’s no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.

Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.

Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris’ PC will crash.

Chuck Norris’s computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn’t make mistakes.

If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.

Chuck Norris CAN find the end of a circle.

Chuck Norris can sit in the corner of a round room.

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