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30 Types Of pussy

March 29th, 2012 Go to comments

 

types-of-pussy

1. Razor bump pussy. She’s still experimenting with the best Gillette model. The new razor with five blades caused a surprising amount of irritation.

2. Honda Civic pussy. The most common type of pussy. Reliable and basic with clean lines.

3. INTJ pussy. The clitoris is out just enough to make a pleasant introduction, but she’s not exactly dancing on the bar.

4. Cunnilingus pussy. Another common pussy type with strong clitoris action. Easy to go down on if you do that sort of thing (I don’t).

5. Vintage porn pussy. Humans have long since evolved, so you won’t find a young girl with this pussy anymore.

6. Lazy pussy. She’s putting in zero effort with her appearance yet still expects guys to approach her all night. You suspect she alternates between only two “going out” outfits.

7. Spinster pussy. This scraggly and worn pussy gave up and is ready for the body attached to it to die.

8. Dog ear in the wind pussy. The clitoris flaps around like it has a mind of its own, but trying to understand its movements will only confuse you.

9. Rain drop pussy. One more drop of pussy flesh and the surface tension will no longer be able to hold the entire apparatus to her body. I like the clitoris here more than the dog ear in the wind pussy because it’s easier to diddle.

10. Pedophile pussy. Perverted men put it all on the line to score this virginal pussy. It’s as pristine as a mountain spring—can you blame them?

11. Predator pussy. If you stare at this pussy for 40 seconds, an image of the Predator alien will pop out at you.

12. Big pussy. Easy entry/exit, but she won’t feel anything if you’re not well-equipped. She’ll be polite, though, and let out a few token moans at your ineffective thrusts.

13. Experienced pussy. This pussy tries to fake but those bumps don’t lie. They act like tree rings and are easily measurable by trained scientists.

14. Social anxiety pussy. Awkward body language and tonality. You need a lot of foreplay with this one.

15. Domestic violence pussy. The pussy got out of line so the man had to slap it around, leading to a swollen, tender appearance. (That reminds me—what do you say to a girl with a black eye? Answer: Bitch I already told you once!)

16. Diarrhea pussy. This pussy ate a bad meal from Taco Bell and is now shooting semi-digested pellets into the toilet bowl.

17. Toyota Camry pussy. Roomier version of the Honda Civic pussy and more reliable with lower maintenance costs. Bring along a couple of your friends. (Editor’s Note: This is my favorite pussy type. I don’t have time to figure out how pussy works—I just want to hop in and get to my destination as quickly as possible.)

18. Last minute pussy. God didn’t decide on the gender of this pussy until the last minute, hence the huge meaty bit that makes penetration extra challenging.

19. Chubby pussy. You look at this pussy and are not sure whether to recommend the cookie diet or P90X.

20. Shy pussy. More outgoing than social anxiety pussy, but her constant silence makes you wonder, “Does she like me? Is she playing games?”

21. Developmentally stunted pussy. If they caught the problem early then an endocrinologist could have prescribed a hormone treatment, but unfortunately it’s too late now and what you got is a pussy that is small and under-powered.

22. Used to be fat pussy. This pussy has lost so much weight that the remaining skin is flabby and loose like an overripe pear.

23. McMansion pussy. You love this pussy in the beginning, bragging to your friends about all the extra storage space it contains, but then once you see your electric bill you wish you bought something more economical.

24. Eagle pussy. Wings in the back offer more stability during flight. Graceful, earnest.

25. Interstate highway pussy. When they built this pussy it was like a dream to drive on the freshly paved asphalt, but overdevelopment of the surrounding areas has led to intolerable sprawl.

26. Anteater pussy. How your grandma’s pussy looks like. Loosening muscle and skin has forced the first couple inches of the vaginal canal to prolapse outside of the body. Grandpa ain’t complaining though… that sly devil.

27. Terminator pussy. One of Skynet’s first models. The clitoris has a formidable exoskeleton that will swallow up your dick if you don’t disable the chip first.

28. Turkey pussy. Wings, giblet, caruncle, wattle—you got it all here. Starter package comes with special handling instructions and food for the first month.

29. Department store pussy. It looked great when you tried it on in the fitting room, but at home it looks a little off. Maybe it’s one size too small?

30. Morbidly obese pussy. When this pussy gets sick you need to need to call the special ambulance with the human crane. All hands on deck!

source:rooshv

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  1. Kayla
    February 6th, 2014 at 08:46 | #1

    Is there a reason why you refer to the labia minora as the clitoris? They are two different parts….

  2. Kai
    February 6th, 2014 at 08:56 | #2

    Wow. You are an idiot…and you obviously know nothing about women, sex, or pleasure.

  3. IV
    February 6th, 2014 at 08:59 | #3

    I was wondering the same thing… Someone has never seen a pussy in real life I guess. Or even taken a basic middle school health class.

  4. Danny
    February 6th, 2014 at 21:44 | #4

    And there it is, the reference to rape/pedophilia… wow. #10. A sad, sad man made this.

  5. Doc Watson
    February 7th, 2014 at 02:47 | #5

    Hello, you stupid son of a gun.

    Your audience that may be amused by your so painfully virgin and awkward descriptions falls within middle school.

    Uh, so congratulations on your hilarious and awkward assumptions – it is clear you’ve only found medical images from google images recently. You can confer with your companions in ‘balls ain’t dropped’ forum just how clever your 7th grade vocabulary appears on the internet.

    You are the sort of fella who screams when classrooms get dimmed for projections and quietly jiggle themselves through their pockets

    I am perplexed you are so hostile to the buffet of vulva difference.

    Can you do a rousing segment on noses and lip shapes? Surely ya missed your calling in fantasy fiction.

  6. BigPusssy
    February 7th, 2014 at 03:25 | #6

    i luv the last minute pussy

  7. wow
    February 7th, 2014 at 04:45 | #7

    You’re an idiot. The pedophile pussy and you say “can you blame them?”…. You’re fucking disgusting and you should really reconsider what you do with your free time or with your time in general.

  8. Youmakemedry
    February 7th, 2014 at 05:16 | #8

    Wow, I hope you aren’t walking around in the general population. You hate women and you are really unsafe and unbalanced.

    Just stay in your mom’s basement and the world will be okay.
    P.s Violation of women is never funny, nor is sex with little girls it’s actually criminal

  9. February 7th, 2014 at 08:37 | #9

    I’m surprised that someone that hates women this much actually put this much effort into this. I’m even more surprised that someone who hated women this much has seen more than one pussy ever.

    I hope the next pussy you come across opens up like some pre-gentrified bible monster and bites your head off. You can call it “Not amused by Misogynistic asshole pussy”

  10. Lina
    February 7th, 2014 at 18:13 | #10

    This is aweful, you are either a virgin, or angry at women for not giving you a chance. Either way, poor show.

  11. shaniqua
    February 7th, 2014 at 20:26 | #11

    Someone has an innie penis!!!

  12. Ben Christensen
    February 7th, 2014 at 23:28 | #12

    Were is ” bring a friend pussy “cause Omaha Nebraska is full of them

  13. Ashley
    February 7th, 2014 at 23:44 | #13

    #4- “easy to go down on if you do that sort of thing.. I dont”

    Well thank god you dont.. its obvious you’ve never even SEEN pussy since you are calling the womans pussy lips hanging down “the clitoris” haha. Maybe try writing an article when you have some experience in what you’re talking about little guy.. cuz in this case you clearly don’t!

    P.S- Women everywhere are thanking you for not going down on them! We need someone who knows what he’s doing down there ;) Not a confused little boy!

  14. Rj
    February 8th, 2014 at 18:06 | #14

    OMG #4 says it all!!! This guy doesn’t even partake in cunnilingus, obvs he doesn’t even know the names of different parts of the lady lol

  15. arthur lute/cpl usmc
    February 8th, 2014 at 23:33 | #15

    all you chicks on her need to chill. stop getting all bent outta shape cuz someones baggin on yer meat curtains.just go with the flow.we ll still hit it regardless, as long as their aint no stank factor.

  16. arthur lute/cpl usmc
    February 8th, 2014 at 23:53 | #16

    the way snatch looks today, its either been abused by mr.dick, or neglected by its owner.oh, by the way, they forget the old dried out catchers mit pussy.LOL.you chicks it offends, are probably protecting hurt feelings.

  17. Yup
    February 9th, 2014 at 03:51 | #17

    I think you meant “30 Different Vaginas of Which I’m Not Worthy”.

  18. Shawn
    February 9th, 2014 at 06:13 | #18

    She start out tasting like a number 1 at 3;00am and ended up tasting like a 30 at 8:00am

  19. Zaxamus
    February 9th, 2014 at 16:30 | #19

    Bunch of angry femme-nazi’s out to play on this one. Of course the first thing they do is attack his character and penis size – but how dare you do that to them and their genitals. Also, to infer that he obviously “hates women”, is a cheap and common ploy by shaming him into submission.

    Thank Christ I’m gay. Don’t know how you poor bastards put up with this shit.

  20. Relax!
    February 10th, 2014 at 09:00 | #20

    All you girls on here need to chill! I found this post funny as hell and I’m a female. Stop bashing the author on his penis size. The poor guy was just trying to express his opinion in a light-hearted manner & anyone reading your comments can see they are a) outrageous overreactions & b) coming from a place of insecurity hurt feelings because you weren’t happy about which of the 30 you thought you were. If you’re a category b) chick you should just be kicking yourself for deciding to read this article knowing full well the sort of content it would contain rather than spouting unnecessary abuse. Lighten up!

  21. charles
    February 23rd, 2014 at 08:06 | #21

    Chill out girls am a dude but d guy is just trying to figure out somtyns morover how many of u knw d different kind of pussy

  22. April 10th, 2014 at 13:17 | #22

    im a 22year old guy.I neve seen a vargine or bin given a chance to have sex with a woman I alwts try to love but I fail is like iv been cused or mby is not my time to have sex I mastibate 7tyms a day,my desire is to have sex with a sexy blonde lady age 18 to 25years white or black woman.I love porn movies and videas jst to mastibate,totally im a virgin,I don’t want to buy prostitude becouse I’ll be an addict,an also I don’t want to lose money for somebody I don’t know,if I could get a woman to have sex with or mby intend to be my woman,money is northing to me,I can price to anything but only if I’ll benefit something.so pls help ma any ladie out ther who like to giv me some pls help.im clean and healthy so I prefare a healthy woman too.

  23. stefano melbourne
    June 4th, 2014 at 04:54 | #23

    no: 6 , 14 10 and 20 is best

  24. mukesh koted
    October 16th, 2014 at 06:22 | #24

    I Love big hips black ladies ….

  1. March 30th, 2012 at 13:16 | #1
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