Wife was sure that her husband was cheating on her with the maid so she laid a trap. One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend & didn’t tell the husband. That night when they went to bed the husband gave the old story: Excuse me my dear, my stomach, & went to the bathroom. The wife promptly went into the maid’s bed. She switched the lights off. When he came in silently, He wasted no time or words but quickly got on top of her… When he finished & still panting, the wife said: You didn’t expect to find me in this bed, did you? & switched on the light… No madam, Said the gardener …
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A doctor has some urgent matter coming up.
He calls his orderly, Kapal, and tells him
“Kapal, I have to go off for the afternoon,
we don’t want to close the clinic,
can you take care of our patients ?”
“Yes, sir……” answers Kapal.
The doctor returns the next day and asks:
“So Kapal, how did it go ?”
Kapal tells him he took care of 3 patients.
“The first one had a headache so I gave him PANADO.”
“Nice one Kapal, and the second one?” asks the doctor.
“The second one had fever and I gave him PANADO, sir” says Kapal
” Bravo Kapal, and what about the third one?” asks the doctor. Read more…
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we’re going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."