Always wear underwear

From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.

The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.

Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand up his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

A glass of wine

A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with
her husband, and she said, “I love you so much, I don’t know how I could
ever live without you.”Her husband asked, “Is that you, or the wine talking?”

She replied, “It’s me ……… talking to the wine.”..

Tribal experiment

A young couple were watching a Discovery Channel special about a West
African bush tribe whose men all had a penis 24 inches long. When the
black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and
on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the
penis to 24 inches.Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his
wife looked at him and said, “How about we try the African
string-and-weight procedure?” The husband agreed and they tied a string
and a weight to his penis.

A few days later, the wife asked the husband, “How is our little tribal
experiment coming along?”

“Well, it looks like we’re about half way there,” he replied.

“Wow, you mean it’s grown to 12 inches?”

“No, it’s turned black.”