Just watch the video and see for yourself how a beauty pageant contestant ruins her chance of winning.

• Not shaving. Like love, stubble hurts. When you drag your chin across her face or thighs, she might not be moaning from pleasure, but from pain.
• Blowing in her ear. There’s a big difference between erotic whispering in someone’s ear and huffing and puffing as if you want to blow the house down.
• Twiddling her nipples. Nipples are sensitive and should be treated gently. They should not be treated like radio dials.
• Ignoring the rest of her body. A woman is made up of more than two breasts and a vagina. Pay attention to the rest of her.
• Not disposing of used condoms. This is the responsibility of the person who wore it.
• Not kissing first. Foreplay starts with passionate kissing. Don’t skip this part – she will feel neglected by your apparent haste.
• Attacking the clitoris. Be gentle and don’t use direct pressure. This could be both >uncomfortable and painful.
• Stopping for a break. Women cannot pick up where they left off. In this respect they are different from men. If you stop, she will go back to square one very quickly.
• Taking your pants off first. There are few things less attractive than a man in only socks, a shirt and underpants.
• Going too fast. Remember this is not an Olympic event. There is no need for you to pump away like a hydraulic power tool. Build up slowly – and you both might have more fun.
• Asking if she has come. You should be able to tell, shouldn’t you? If you can’t, assume that she hasn’t.
• Nudging her head down. All women hate this. There is an element of desperation involved here when men do this. For women, it’s a very short step from being dragged to a cave by the hair. If both of you enjoy oral sex, this will happen by itself. Don’t involve an element of force.
• Taking pictures. Her first thought will be “Who do you want to show them to?”
• Giving love bites. Gentle suction on the sides of the neck can be highly erotic, but love bites can be painful and lead to infections. Who wants to wear scarves and polo necks in the middle of the summer?
• Squashing her. Just remember that most men weigh more than women do. If you lie too heavily on her, she might stop breathing.
• Talking dirty. This might make you sound like a desperate sex caller on a pay line. Listen to her first – if she doesn’t talk dirty, don’t.
• Don’t thank a woman for having sex with you. It makes you sound desperate and like a charity case. She won’t be back for more.

Salim has a Petrol station in Mumbai and was trying to increase his
sales.

So he put up a sign that read, “Free Sex with Fill-Up.”

Soon Ahmed pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. Van
Told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would
get his free sex. Ahmed guessed 8, and Salim said, “You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time.”

A week later, Ahmed along with his buddy Khan, and pulled in for
Another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. Salim again asked him to
guess the correct number.

He guessed 2 this time. Salim said, “Sorry, it was 3. You were close,
but no free sex this time.”

As they were driving away, Ahmed said to his buddy, “I think that game
Is rigged and he doesn’t really give away free sex.”

Khan replied, ” No no no no, it ain’t rigged.
My wife won twice last week.”

On the following pictures you can see women who want something to say! It seems that they are in the very personal, how do I say… You know what I mean. But still… Think again!

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night.
She looked pretty good for a 60 year old.
Infact she wasn’t too bad at all, and I found myself thinking
That she probably had a really hot daughter.

We drank a bit (well more than a bit)
We had a snuggle, and she asked me if
I ever had a ‘sportsman double?’

‘What that?’ I asked

‘It’s a mother and daughter threesome’, she said.
‘Oh’, I said as my mind began to embrace the idea,
‘No I haven’t’ and I wondered what this daughter of
hers might look like.

We drank a bit more, then she says with a wink
that tonight was my ‘lucky night’

I went back to her place. We walked in.

She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs

‘Mom you still awake?’

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, ‘What are you thinking?’ She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Here’s an update for you… Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!