A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn’t want to spend a fortune.
“Well,” said the clerk, “I have a very large bullfrog. They say it’s been trained to give blowjobs!”
“Blowjobs!” the woman replied.
Son:”Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!”
Father: “That’s great son. Who is she?”
Son: “It’s Sandra, the neighbor’s daughter.”
Father: “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.
I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.
Sandra is actually your sister.”
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later … Read more…
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don’t exist. He’s busy vacuuming now.
A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, “Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend?”
Grandma replied, “Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can set in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. Read more…
A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife in unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry’s bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I’m going crazy. What do you think I should do?” “Relax,” says the Doctor, “take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, where exactly is Larry’s bar?”
Never to do it with a single woman. Instead, date a married woman who has just as much reason to keep your affair a secret as you do.
When life hands you women…
…Make women laid.
A woman was having sex in an apartment 20 floors high with another man. She then heard her husband coming.. She told her lover to stay like
a robot and not to move.
Husband : What is this ? Wife : This is a robot i bought to have sex with
when you are traveling….
Husband : Okay.. Lets have sex now….
Wife : No sweetheart.. Yesterday i got my period, so i will go and
make a cup of coffee for you..
After she left the Read more…