Two freshman philosophy students see the following bulletin posted on the wall of their lecture hall:
Crash Course in Logical Assumptions
Saturday, September 26, 1998, All Day
Neither of them knows what it means and they are both curious. The pair decide to find the professor and ask some questions. When they locate the professor’s office, the bolder of the two enters the building while the other remains outside.
Student: "Uh…Sir..What does Crash Course in Logical Assumptions mean?"
Professor: "Well, it involves taking information that you have, forming assumptions using logic, and then creating new information. Let me try to answer your question by asking you a question. Do you own a car?"
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What’s on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?”
He replies, “Yes, caffeine. I can’t drink coffee.”
“Have you ever served in the military?”
“Yes,” he says, “I was inIraqfor two years.”
It has been studied and determined that the most often used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position.
The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.
While walking down the street one day a ‘Member of Parliament’ is
tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
‘Welcome to heaven,’ says St. Peter. ‘Before you settle in, it seems there
is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so
we’re not sure what to do with you.’
1. Razor bump pussy. She’s still experimenting with the best Gillette model. The new razor with five blades caused a surprising amount of irritation.
2. Honda Civic pussy. The most common type of pussy. Reliable and basic with clean lines.
3. INTJ pussy. The clitoris is out just enough to make a pleasant introduction, but she’s not exactly dancing on the bar.