Mixed Emotions

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology which was explaining the phenomenon of “mixed emotions”.

The husband turned to his wife and said, “That is an absolute bunch of crap. I bet you can’t tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time”.

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The Vasectomy

A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off.

When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him.

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Seven Dollar Sex

A  sweet old couple, both well into their 70′s, go to a sex therapist’s office.

The doctor asks, ‘What can I do for you?’

The man says, ‘Will you watch us have sexual  intercourse?’

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.  When the couple finishes, the doctor says, ‘There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse..’

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