Hey, at least you have some privacy.
BASED ON YOUR SUNSIGNS, ALCOHOROSCOPES EXPLAINS YOUR EXPECTED BEHAVIOUR AFTER YOU GET DRUNK !!
ARIES : Drinking style: Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don’t know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests. They’re sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk I as good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you — so long as you haven’t gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.
#1 America has the highest incarceration rate and the largest total prison population in the entire world by a good margin.
#2 There are more car thefts in the United States than anywhere else in the world by far.
#3 Of all the major industrialized nations, America is the most obese. Mexico is #2.
#4 The average American drinks more than 600 sodas a year – the most in the world.
#5 U.S. corporations sell more fast food and more soda than anyone else in the world by a wide margin.
#6 Nobody watches more television per week (28 hours) than Americans do. Although to be honest, people living in the UK are tied with us.
Ladies : Imagine that you go out one night to a really nice bar with your friends and have a few Cocktails .
They taste good, so you have a few more and then the DJ puts on ‘I Will Survive,’ so you’re off on the dance floor .
After an hour or so, when ‘Heart of Glass’ has finished, and more modern music comes on , you come back to the group, for a rest and another Cocktail or Three.
You notice a group of men standing nearby and one of them is looking at you. You look back at him and there is Tangible Chemistry between the two of you.
YOU buy him a drink . He likes a woman who is not afraid to buy a man a drink. He approaches you to chat and you get on really well.
turning to religion I was soon able to come to terms with the whole
thing. I converted to Islam, and we’re stoning her in the morning!
The wife suggested I get myself one of those dick enlargers, so I
did…. she’s 21 and her name’s Lucy.
Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting
paedo and other names at me just because my girlfriend is 21 and I’m 50.
It completely spoilt our 10th anniversary.
The thing I love most about this hot weather is the short skirts and low
cut tops. Although they do make me look a bit gay. Read more…
1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.
2. It’s best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.
3. You can do it with no hands, but it’s best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.
4. It’s easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.
5. You can do it by yourself, but it’s usually not as much fun.
6. It’s usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.
7. It’s best to have a soft place to land.
8. You don’t need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.
Government announced to pay men with 5 children a R15 000 grant. A man heard the news and said to his wife, Eunice! I have a kid with my other girlfriend so i am going to bring him so we can add him to our 4 and get the grant. When he came back he saw that only one of his kids was in the house, he asked where the other kids are. The wife replied, "You are not the only one who heard the news! Their fathers came to fetch them too!"
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