Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government’s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell Happened to your bra and panties.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering When you are not.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a Retard.
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1. Money cannot buy happiness but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard’s name.
3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they’re in trouble again.
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A man went with his wife on honeymoon and they were getting undressed together for the first time.
The man took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored. “What happened to your feet?” his wife asked. “I had a childhood disease called Tolio.”
“Don’t you mean polio?” … “No, tolio, it only affects the toes.”
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A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner.
Finally, they agreed to meet at the Dairy Queen, next door to the Ocean View
restaurant, because they had only $6.00 among them and Brad Johnson, the
cute boy in Social Studies, lived on that street.
10 years later, the group of 25-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet
for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant,
because the beer was cheap, the restaurant offered free snacks, the band was
good, there was no cover charge, and there were lots of cute guys.
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A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation.
After a long period of silence, the priest spoke.
"Well, sister, this looks pretty grim."
"I know, father."
"In fact, I don’t think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two."
"I agree."
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The Dalai Lama was asked what surprised him most, he said "Man. Because
he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices
money to recuperate his health.
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WHY MEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO RUN ADVICE AND LOVE COLUMNS IN MAGAZINES AND NEWS PAPER,
Hi Uncle WANDILE:- I am a lady aged 26, I left my husband with the maid and my baby at home, I drove for just about 2Km from home my car engine started to overheat so I had to turn back and get another car , when I got home I found my husband in bed with our maid, I don’t know what to do now please help me.
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