*Economics Teacher:*
Class, can you give me an example of complete business failure due to
professional negligence?

*Johnny**:*
A pregnant prostitute

To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails, her mother tells her it’ll make her fat. “I won’t do it any more, Mom,” says the daughter.

The next day they are out walking when they meet a very fat man. “If I bite my fingernails, I’ll be as fat as that, won’t I Mom?”

“You’ll be fatter than that,” says her mother. They get on a bus, and sitting opposite them is a … … very pregnant lady. The little girl can’t take her eyes off the woman’s belly. The pregnant lady feels increasingly uncomfortable under this
stare, and finally leans forward and says to the little girl, “Excuse me, but do you know me?”

And the little girl says, “No, but I know what you’ve been doing…

via

A 10yr old daugther leading a family in prayer:
"Dear God,
I thank u 4 giving me such lovable parrents, Thank u 4 the visitors and there children who ate all my cookies and ice cream. Bless ‘em lord so that they shall never have 2 cum 2 our home 4 supper ever again. Forgive the boy who was wrestling with my sister on her bed and this naughty girl 4 eatin sausage on my brother’s pants as he slept on the sofa, and this winter pliz send clothes 2 all those poor naked ladies in daddy’s cell phone & build shelter to all the homeless men who sleep with mum wen dad is away at work…Amen.

Why TEACHERS may feel the urge to get DRUNK. You want to know the reason why? Here are some:

Read more…

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

"Mommy, where do babies come from?"

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, "Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex."

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, "That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey." The child seems to comprehend.

"Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?"

"Jewellery, my dear. Jewellery."