Don’t waste your time.You’re NOT gonna find one!
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
“House” for instance, is feminine: “la casa.”
“Pencil,” however, is masculine: “el lapiz.”
A student asked, “What gender is ‘computer’?”
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether “computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men’s group decided that “computer” should definitely be of the feminine gender (“lacomputadora”), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic; Contine reading
After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?"
"You’ll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it – to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams"
Here’s a list of 6 craziest lies married men tell their mistresses, which in fact means something else.
- I don’t love my wife.
We are going through a hard time and I will soon be separating. That’s a LIE. Men don’t advertise leaving home to the other woman. If they are really in a bad relationship, most of them just find a place to go and leave. This is the type of conversation they have with their wives, but this is the line where they get you hooked, because you do believe that this is going to happen. Warning: Don’t believe it. If he means it, wait until he actually does it and then start dating him.
Having any kind of relationship with an ex is complicated – really, really complicated. There are so many emotions swirling around that even just talking to your ex can quickly turn into a messy, dramatic situation. To avoid that, there are some things you should never say to your ex, like ever.
Whether you want your ex back or never want to see him again, it can be hard to bite your tongue to keep yourself from saying the things you really want to say. But, for your sake, try to keep the word vomit in check. Words can’t be taken back and you don’t want to come off as immature, angry or desperate when I know you’re not any of those things. To help you out, here is a little guide to things you should never say to your ex. Create imaginary dialogue in your head, say them to your friends, write them out… just don’t say this stuff to your ex.
He/she broke my heart. In fact your ex might break your heart, but keep it to yourself. It was in the past. If you tell your date about your ex, and worse, in a very sad way, your date may think that you still love your ex more than him/her.
George Bush’s 50 worst bloopers
1. “The problem with the French is that they don’t have a word for entrepreneur.”
2. “If you say you’re going to do something and don’t do it, that’s trustworthiness.”
3. “Justice ought to be fair.”
4. “If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow.”
5. “Reading is the basics for all learning.”
6. “Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?”
7. “The important question is, how many hands have I shaked?”
8. “September the 4th, 2001, I stood in the ruins of the Twin Towers. It’s a day I will never forget.”
9. “Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.”
10. “I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office.” Contine reading
Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman who was going out to the pub?
He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, "Margaret – put your hat and coat on lassie."
She replied, "Aw Jock that’s nice – are you taking me to the pub with you?"
"Naw", Jock replied, "A’m switchin’ the central heatin’ off while a’m oot."