You know you’ve been out of college too long when…
- Your potted plants stay alive.
- Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
- You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
- 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
- You hear your favourite song on the elevator at work.
- You carry an umbrella.
- You watch the Weather Channel.
- Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.
- You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
- Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
- You’re the one calling the police because those damn kids next
door don’t know how to turn down the stereo.
- Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
- You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
- Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
- You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds.
- Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
- You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
- Dinner and a movie – The whole date instead of the beginning
- MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
- You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not
condoms and pregnancy test kits.
- A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
- You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
- Grocery lists are longer.
- "I just can’t drink the way I used to," replaces, "I’m never
going to drink that much again."
- Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for
- You don’t get liquored up at home, to save money, before going
to a bar.
- It takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.
Well their are three guys on a bridge fishing. they all think there dicks are bigger than each others so….. the one guy throws his dick over the bridge. and he says my almost reaches the water.the 2nd guy throws his dick over and says burr! the waters cold. the 3rd guy throws his over and says to the 2nd guy! and deep too!
kissing other people’s wives when they are not around .This time he kissed a wrong woman!!!!!
QUESTION: You’re at a party only to find out that your phone is off
because Of a flat battery and now you’re panicking because you want
to call your Woman and let her know when to pick you up.
Then this other man comes and sits next to you, then you borrow his phone to make a call.
When dialling your woman’s number on this man’s phone comes
your woman’s Number written by the name Sex Partner, what will you