Question: “What would you like to drink … fruit juice, soda, tea, milo, chocolate, or coffee?”
Answer: “Tea please”
Question: Ceylon tea, herbal tea, bush tea, honey bush tea, ice tea or green tea?”
Answer: ” Ceylon tea please”
Question: “How would you like it? Black or white?”
Answer: “White please”
Question: “Milk, whitener, or condensed milk?” Answer: “Milk please”
Question: “Goat milk, camel milk or cow milk?”
Answer: “Cow milk please.”
Question: “Milk from Freeze land or Afrikaner cow?”
Answer : ” Afrikaner cow please.”
Question: ” Warm or cold?”
Answer: “Warm please.”
Question: “Full cream, low fat or fat free?”
Answer: “Umm … I’ll rather take it black please.”
Question: “Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?” Answer: “With sugar please.”
Question: “Beet sugar or cane sugar?”
Answer: “Cane sugar please.”
Question: “White, brown or yellow sugar?”
Answer: “Just forget about the tea. I’ll have a glass of water instead please.”
Question: “Mineral or still water?”
Answer: “Mineral water please.”
Question: “Flavoured or non-flavoured?”
Answer: “Hey f**k man! Just get me water from the river… I don’t want to know which river, and stop asking me too many questions.!

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates and saw a beautiful banquet table.

Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her, ‘Hello. How are you! We’ve been waiting for you! Good to see you.’

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him,
‘This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?’

‘You have to spell a word,’ Saint Peter told her.
‘Which word?’ the woman asked.
‘Love.’

The woman correctly spelled ‘Love’ and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman
and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

‘I’m surprised to see you,’ the woman said. ‘How have you been?’
‘Oh, I’ve been doing pretty well since you died,’ her husband told her. ‘I
married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill.And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I travelled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?’

‘You have to spell a word,’ the woman told him.
‘Which word?’ her husband asked.
‘Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis’, she replied.

Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry . . . there will be Hell to pay!

NB: The longest word currently listed in the Oxford dictionary is the supposed lung-disease pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis (45 letters).Now you’ve learned a new word.

I don’t think that this commercial will be allowed on TV

Anniversary present but she got de keys f**k.

You gave a lift to a beautiful girl
she fainted inside your car & u took her to the hospital.
Now that’s stressful, but at the hospital the Doc said she is pregnant &
congratulated u that you’re going to be a father You denied, but the
girl
said you are.
This is getting very stressful
To prove Your not the father , you requested for a DNA test. After the
tests, the doctor said you are Sterile and can’t impregnate a woman.
You are extremely stressed but relieved.
But On your way home, you suddenly remembered you left 3 kids at home…
Who the Hell is their father.
NOW THAT’S STRESS!

Even if the conditions are not favourable, beer will remain a delicacy.